Success!!

So I had planned on writing last night, but I was just exhausted and went to bed.  By updating this morning, I may be late for work, so this may be kind of short and sweet.

Yesterday was weigh-in day #1.  I lost 9 lbs! I was honestly hoping for 10+, but I'm not gonna cry over 9, because that's a dang good start in my eyes.  All of this struggle and hard work this week was made worth it on the scale last night.  And let me tell ya, this week has been SUPER HARD at times.  Oddly enough, I've been craving healthy stuff, like veggies, fruits, and fresh grilled meat.  One day, I'll get to have these things again, but for now I've gotta stick with the plan.  I felt at times this week like I could gnaw my arm off.  I haven't really been HUNGRY, but nothing that I eat is SATISFYING, really.  It fills me up, but it's not what I wanted.  Kinda like when you're craving Chinese food and you eat Mexican food, it's just not the same!

I was in the gym three times last week.  I got in my 2000 PA (physical activity).  This week, my goal is to get at least 3000 or more.  We also had a challenge this week of burning 50 more PA than our highest day last week.  My highest day last week was 775, so needless to say, I had to work my booty OFF last night, but I did it! I got 990 last night in one night.  That's 60 straight minutes of cardio, kids! And it really felt GOOD.

The basement is getting closer to done each day, and this is what makes me REALLY happy.  My own space, and a bathtub that I can relax in after these hard workouts.  And I have to take this time to say that I have really seen my friends and family step up to help support and encourage me through this.  Thank you all!  Luis has been faithful in going to the gym with me, and it helps more than you can imagine.  Prayers, support, encouragement, it all means so much.  Of course, there has been one person that obviously didn't want me to succeed, due to the change it would cause in the dynamic of our relationship.  He can kick rocks for all I care.  I don't need his negativity.  I will move on...on to a happier, healthier me...and on to the next one, that will love me for me!

I think this is going to work, and I'm no longer scared about it or nervous.  All I'm thinking now is that I probably need to find a sugar daddy or a money donor or something to pay for my plastic surgery once I get the weight off.  Ha!

<3 Tara

Ready....Set....Go!!

I'm starting a new journey tomorrow.

Honestly, I'm pretty much scared to death about it.  I have spoken with my kids at work before about the scary parts of success and failure, and here I sit thinking about both of them.  If I'm successful, there's a whole new set of worries/frustrations/concerns that come about, and if I fail, well, you get the point.  To be honest, being successful at this point is more frightening than failing, but I'm not going to let that hold me back for a second.

So, I'm sure you're wondering what this journey is, eh?  Well, I'm starting the HMR diet here at Burton Creek in West Plains.  Basically, for those of you that have no idea what it is, it is a VLCD (very-low calorie diet).  It requires that I eat at least three shakes and two of their pre-prepared/packaged meals daily.  I can eat more, but I have to eat at least that much.  I know, I know, it sounds a bit extreme.  BUT...I have been struggling with this extra weight my entire life, and I always swore that I didn't want to enter my 30's like this.  In fact, I'd really like to find a man worthy of me and have a family before I get too old and I feel like my weight has been holding me back from this for a long time.  I have always prided myself on loving myself as is and not letting my self-esteem be lowered because of others' opinions on me, especially my physical being.  However, there comes a time when I have to admit to myself that I would be A LOT happier with myself if I did something about this.  I can honestly say that the amount of pride and the feeling of accomplishment that I would gain from losing weight alone would be worth more than words can say.  I am walking into this knowing that it is going to be a battle that is going to take every ounce of motivation and strength that I have, but I know that I can fight it.  I've always been a little competitive, a bit of a fighter, and with something laid out in front of me so clearly, I don't really see a way for me to screw it up, as long as I keep my focus on the goal and not the obstacles that might occur while working to achieve it.  

I ask that if you are a close part of my life and have faith, that you say a little prayer for me to stay strong.  I know that I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength (Philippians 4:13) and I know that He will be here with me through the whole journey, through the good and the bad. 

I honestly don't know what I would do with myself if I was skinny....I don't think I know how to be skinny. Haha.  I guess we'll just have to see what happens...are ya with me?

<3

Tara